Last weekend my girls attended their first ever gymnastics class. It was a “trial class” to see if they liked it and to see if we wanted to sign up for the full month of lessons. The Peanut (age 5) was in the “Kinder Class” and Squeaker (age 2) was in the “Toddler Class.” The classes were one right after the other which, as you can imagine can be quite challenging when it comes to sitting still for 45 minutes to an hour watching a sibling.
Peanut’s class was first. Upon entering the gym she seamed excited and I thoroughly thought she would love every minute of the class because she has really blossomed this year as a result (I think) of attending kindergarten. She entered the floor with about six other girls and started the stretching and warm up. The next thing I know she is curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing that she didn’t want to do it. This was the old Peanut. This was our shy, intimidated scared little Peanut. My heart broke and yet part of me was frustrated. I had her sit to the side and watch. Finally, not knowing what to do, I gave her an ultimatum . I told her that she either goes and sit with the class or we go home. This may seem a little harsh but sometimes, she needs a big little nudge. She reluctantly walked over and sat IN the teacher’s lap. Soon enough the stretching portion was done and they moved on to some balance beams, uneven bars and trampoline type of drills. Sure enough, I saw a smile emerge and she was giggling with the other girls.
She is not the smallest in the group, but she is one of the few who can’t jump high, do a somersault or bend in all kinds of weird ways. To be honest, she is incredibly awkward. Much like her mother. I was proud of her that she continued on with the class and afterwards, she told me she wanted to come back. She had conquered her fear and found fun in something that scared her.
We, as adults, don’t necessarily ever lose this as we grow older. How many times have we been tasked to do something that frightens us to the core? What are we frightened of? Failure? Getting hurt (both emotionally and physically)? How many times do we try something and if we are not good at it, we quit?
Later that evening, the Peanut pulled me aside and said, “Mommy, I have a secret. Do you know why I cried at gymnastics?” I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and I said “Why honey, why did you cry?” Her response: “Because I don’t like having attention. I don’t like people staring at me.” My heart broke for a minute as it always does when I notice that she is battling her self-confidence. Yet, if anyone asked me to stand in front of a large group of people and speak, I too would probably (at least internally) crawl into a ball and cry.
Today was the start of our full session of gymnastics and I have been thinking all week about the Peanut. She vowed to me this morning that she wouldn’t cry this time (and she didn’t). I know confidence comes with time and experience for some people but the truth of the matter is, we all have an inner child within us whispering things like “I’m scared” and “I don’t want to do it.”
I think that is entirely normal and it helps me remember not to get mad at the Peanut when she goes through periods like this, afraid to try anything new. The best thing I can do is remind her that trying something new is scary to everyone but that she may find that she really likes it.
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When she is swimming, she is like a mermaid; confident and cocky swimming the length of the pool but it wasn’t always that way. I remind her of that.
I am also proud that she returned to class this weekend. She struggled with the drills lacking the strength and flexibility a lot of the other kids had but at least she TRIED.
The next time you are presented with something that makes you nervous or perhaps something that you know you are not going to perform well, remember my Peanut. Find your inner child and tell them it is okay, that anything new can be scary and that practice makes perfect. And if all else fails, tell yourself to participate or go home. 🙂
Practice makes perfect.
~Trailmomma
I’d like to recommend a book for you: Quiet: the Power of Being an Introvert in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. My three kids are teens, and I wish I would have read the book years ago. I think everyone who has children, who is in the education field, just about anyone who deals with other people – would benefit from the insight the book offers. Enjoy!